What do you get when you take a suspicious wife, a vacant husband, a scoundrel of a son, and a Jezebel? You get Chloe. The only good thing about this movie was that it eventually comes to an end. Getting to the end was tiresome. Julianne Moore plays Catherine Stewart, a gynecologist who lives in abundance. Her office is beautiful with sprawling views of Toronto. Her house is simply absurd in its luxuriousness. Her husband, David Stewart (Liam Neeson), is a college professor. He appears preoccupied much of the time.

The film opens with Chloe (Seyfried) dressing in front of a mirror. A voiceover tells us that she is essentially a call girl who can make your wildest dreams come true. The predictability in this film is overwhelming. The so-called “plot twists” are visible from miles away. This movie might have been a good idea had it been executed properly. Unfortunately for the audience, that is not the case. Director Atom Egoyan either tried too hard or didn’t try at all. Perhaps he thought that having a young beauty, a vintage beauty, and Liam Neeson would carry the film all by itself. Whoops.

So Catherine throws a big surprise party for David. Only, David “accidentally” missed his flight home from wherever it was that he was teaching that night. Uh huh. The following day, Catherine finds David’s cell phone and a text message from one of his young students that reads “Thanks for last night.” Ominous, I guess. Basically the movie is trying really hard to make us believe that David is cheating. Meanwhile, Catherine is dealing with her son, Michael (Max Thieriot) whose role in the movie is essentially pointless. He won’t listen to a word his mother says and I don’t believe we see him interact with dad even once.

Feeling hopeless and lost, Catherine seeks out Chloe, who she’s seen going into the hotel next door to her office with her clients. She pays Chloe to seduce her husband and see if he will take the bait. The rest of the movie is Chloe and Catherine arranging secret meetings to discuss what happens when Chloe meets with David. Listening to Amanda Seyfried describe what her character and David do together is disturbing at best. She has the face of a 12-year-old and the voice to match. The graphic detail coming from the baby-faced Seyfried was too much and simply off-putting.

Big time spoilers coming up. If you haven’t seen this waste of time and still want to, don’t read on.

After Chloe meets Catherine in a hotel room claiming to have just slept with David there, Catherine loses all the marbles she had left and subsequently hops into bed with Chloe. Shocker. Not. The scene is unsettling at best. Afterwards, the two hop in a cab together and Catherine goes home. She comes in late and apparently this automatically means to David that she has been, without a doubt, cheating on him. They get into a big fight blah, blah, blah.

Catherine calls Chloe and asks that she meet her. Waiting for Chloe with a snifter in hand, Catherine greets David whom she has called away from work for this meeting. Chloe walks in and as she is approaching the table where her lady-love is seated, she sees David is there too. David turns around to see who his wife is staring at and doesn’t flinch. Surprise! He has no idea who Chloe is! Chloe made it all up! I gently placed my head in my hands at this moment and wept for the person who pitched this idea and the other person who agreed to it.

Chloe then runs right over to the Stewart household where Michael is strumming his guitar. He glances up, sees her, and the two make their way up to the master bedroom. Meanwhile, Catherine comes clean to David and they reconcile. Yay. He has to go finish up at work and she hurries home to wait for him. She walks in to find a sleeping Chloe in her bed with her son. In a desperate attempt to give the movie a twisted ending, Chloe and Catherine argue and thankfully, finally Chloe manages to fall out the window and die. Huzzah!

Julianne Moore now has two strikes in my book. One for The Kids Are All Right and one for this wretched excuse for a film. Liam Neeson gets a pass because this movie was filmed right around the time that his wife passed and I normally enjoy his work. It would’ve been wise to replace him with someone else if possible. Amanda Seyfried has yet to blow me away in a role and that stands true after this mess. Yikes.

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