Today in my film class, the lovely girl who sits behind me asked me what I thought of the Oscars. It took me a moment to answer because I had worked so hard to wipe that night from my memory.
I finally said that I thought it went terribly. She laughed and kindly agreed. Then she told me that after the show, she went to my blog to see if I had written about it and what I thought. I felt bad that I hadn’t said anything and that someone had actually cared enough to check on what I had to say.
Sabine, this is for you.
The Oscars turned 83-years-old this year. Much like Kirk Douglas, they have become slower and a bit nonsensical with age. You know…
The standard of excellence that was once upheld by the big night has vanished. I don’t have baby ears, so I wasn’t offended by the fact that Melissa Leo dropped a big ol’ F-bomb on us, but come on. Be aware of where you are. She so confidently promoted herself in the weeks coming up to Oscar and when she ascended the stairs to the stage she appeared as though she’d just been slugged over the head with a club.
Disastrous speech number one.
The Kirk Douglas bit was not only grueling to watch – worse than when Dick Clark counted us down to 2011 – but it ate up so much time! Oscar winners of the night who weren’t Colin Firth, Melissa Leo, Natalie Portman, or Christian Bale were rushed off the stage with that dreaded cut-off music too quickly.
Now… let me collect my thoughts here. I’d like to touch on a subject that makes me cringe when I think of it. What the ****, Franco? Where was he? I mean… I know that he was standing on stage for parts of the night next to Anne Hathaway, but where was he really? Staring off into space, looking annoyed and disinterested… it was a disaster.
Not only that, but the lovely and talented Anne Hathaway had to come up with the energy to make up for Franco’s mental absence and carry the show all alone. Billy Crystal stopped by and I think I heard the whole world collectively shouting “Take it over, Billy! Save the show!”
Bob Hope, possibly the greatest Oscar host of all time, even made a posthumous appearance. We miss you, Bob. More than you’ll ever know.
Basically why I didn’t say anything after the Oscars aired was because I have always heard that phrase that if you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all. So I didn’t. I was tickled that The King’s Speech took home Best Picture, and the appropriate Best Actor and Actress nominees won, but the rest of the show was rubbish.
I sincerely hope that next year is better. It certainly can’t be any worse… or can it?