A Shot in the Dark: Blind Oscar Predictions

Time for some blind Oscar predictions! I’m not totally in the dark, but I have only seen ONE of the films recognized by the Academy for 2013. I’ve already sewn a scarlet F — for FAIL — on my dress. Why don’t we move right along to my utterly uneducated guesses, hm?

BEST Motion PICTURE of the year

American Hustle Charles Roven, Richard Suckle, Megan Ellison and Jonathan Gordon, Producers — My inner 15-year-old boy wants me to point out that one of the producers of American Hustle is named Richard Suckle. Captain Phillips Scott Rudin, Dana Brunetti and Michael De Luca, Producers Dallas Buyers Club Robbie Brenner and Rachel Winter, Producers

Gravity Alfonso Cuarón and David Heyman, Producers

agravity — Okay, so maybe this is the only one of these nominees that I’ve seen. And maybe that’s why I’m picking it. Maybe the sun is going to explode tomorrow. Who knows? All I’m saying is that watching this movie was like being a passenger on a two-hour car ride with a person who has a lead foot. You’re stomping the floor where there is no brake pedal, gripping the door and the armrest with white knuckles, waiting for the crash. That’s some next level shit. I also think that maybe George Clooney was just at the studio the day they began filming and they were like, “Hey, you wanna be in this movie?” and he was like, “Yeah. Can I be George Clooney?” Sandra Bullock nailed it though. Nailed. It. Her Megan Ellison, Spike Jonze and Vincent Landay, Producers Nebraska Albert Berger and Ron Yerxa, Producers Philomena Gabrielle Tana, Steve Coogan and Tracey Seaward, Producers 12 Years A Slave Brad Pitt, Dede Gardner, Jeremy Kleiner, Steve McQueen and Anthony Katagas, Producers The Wolf Of Wall Street Nominees to be determined

Performance by an Act or in a Leading Role

Christian Bale AMERICAN HUSTLE Bruce Dern NEBRASKA

Leonardo DiCaprio THE WOLF OF WALL STREET

awolfofwallstreet — After last year, I really think the Academy owes Leo a supersolid. His performance in DJANGO was unparalleled. I like to imagine the Academy all shitfaced one night at a bar in Beverly Hills shouting, “Where’s Arnie?” while they filled out their ballots. But really, it’s not about it being his turn. Leo has really stepped out of his comfort zone. He’s making excellent career moves and giving Oscar-worthy performances. Plus, his mom is gonna be PISSED if he gets passed up this time. Chiwetel Ejiofor 12 YEARS A SLAVE Matthew McConaughey DALLAS BUYERS CLUB

Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

Barkhad Abdi CAPTAIN PHILLIPS Bradley Cooper AMERICAN HUSTLE Michael Fassbender 12 YEARS A SLAVE Jonah Hill THE WOLF OF WALL STREET

Jared Leto DALLAS BUYERS CLUB

ajaredleto — Jared Leto’s mom is hot. That said, he’s kinda been sweeping this awards season. Let’s face it, drag works for him. He looks kinda like his mom in the movie. And it all comes full circle.

PERFORMANCE BY AN Actress in a Leading Role

Amy Adams AMERICAN HUSTLE Cate Blanchett BLUE JASMINE

Sandra Bullock GRAVITY

asandrabullock — As I said earlier, Sandra Bullock nailed this role. She totally made me never want to go to space. The scene with the dog over the radio made me fall madly in love with her. She’s kinda been owning the whole movie thing since the dawn of time and somehow looks better now than ever before. She’s the kind of woman I’d like to work with and then sit down and drink a couple pitchers of beer. And then run off into the night with her Oscar. Judi Dench PHILOMENA Meryl Streep AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY

PERFORMANCE BY AN Actress in a Supporting Role

Sally Hawkins BLUE JASMINE Jennifer Lawrence AMERICAN HUSTLE

Lupita Nyong’o 12 YEARS A SLAVE

alupita — Don’t get me wrong, I love Jennifer Lawrence as much as everyone else in the world. I’m a little annoyed by how likable she is, actually. And while I’m sure she’ll win the night in terms of looking adorable, being charming, getting hit on by Jack Nicholson, and saying something candid and hilarious, I’m pretty sure Lupita Nyong’o is going to go home with the little golden man. Julia Roberts AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY June Squibb NEBRASKA

BEST Animated Feature Film OF THE YEAR

THE CROODS Chris Sanders, Kirk DeMicco and Kristine Belson

The Croods — All of my co-workers have seen this movie. They all cried and called their fathers afterward. So there you have it. DESPICABLE ME 2 Chris Renaud, Pierre Coffin and Chris Meledandri ERNEST & CELESTINE Benjamin Renner and Didier Brunner FROZEN Chris Buck, Jennifer Lee and Peter Del Vecho THE WIND RISES Hayao Miyazaki and Toshio Suzuki

ACHIEVEMENT IN CINEMATOGRAPHY

THE GRANDMASTER Philippe Le Sourd

GRAVITY Emmanuel Lubezki

agravity1 — I’ve never been to space, per say, but let’s just say I felt like I was there. INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS Bruno Delbonnel Nebraska Phedon Papamichael PRISONERS Roger A. Deakins

ACHIEVEMENT IN COSTUME DESIGN

AMERICAN HUSTLE Michael Wilkinson

935381 - AMERICAN HUSTLE — Everyone looked so groovy and stylish in the previews. THE GRANDMASTER William Chang Suk Ping THE GREAT GATSBY Catherine Martin THE INVISIBLE WOMAN Michael O’Connor 12 YEARS A SLAVE Patricia Norris

ACHIEVEMENT IN DIRECTING

AMERICAN HUSTLE David O. Russell

GRAVITY Alfonso Cuarón

agravity2 — I swear I’m not picking this over and over again because it’s the only one I’ve seen. NEBRASKA Alexander Payne 12 YEARS A SLAVE Steve McQueen THE WOLF OF WALL STREET Martin Scorsese

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE

THE ACT OF KILLING Joshua Oppenheimer and Signe Byrge Sørensen

aactofkilling — Yeah, I have no clue. Not even an inkling. But that shit looks crazy, right? CUTIE AND THE BOXER Zachary Heinzerling and Lydia Dean Pilcher DIRTY WARS Richard Rowley and Jeremy Scahill THE SQUARE Jehane Noujaim and Karim Amer 20 FEET FROM STARDOM Nominees to be determined

BEST Documentary Short Subject

CAVEDIGGER Jeffrey Karoff

acavedigger — Again, I haven’t the foggiest. FACING FEAR Jason Cohen KARAMA HAS NO WALLS Sara Ishaq THE LADY IN NUMBER 6: MUSIC SAVED MY LIFE Malcolm Clarke and Nicholas Reed PRISON TERMINAL: THE LAST DAYS OF PRIVATE JACK HALL Edgar Barens

ACHIEVEMENT IN FILM EDITING

AMERICAN HUSTLE Jay Cassidy, Crispin Struthers and Alan Baumgarten CAPTAIN PHILLIPS Christopher Rouse DALLAS BUYERS CLUB John Mac McMurphy and Martin Pensa

GRAVITY Alfonso Cuarón and Mark Sanger

agravity3 — What? WHAT?! 12 YEARS A SLAVE Joe Walker

BEST Foreign Language Film OF THE YEAR

BROKEN CIRCLE BREAKDOWN Belgium THE GREAT BEAUTY Italy

THE HUNT Denmark

athehunt — A guy I know saw this and loved it. THE MISSING PICTURE Cambodia OMAR Palestine

ACHIEVEMENT IN MAKEUP and hairstyling

DALLAS BUYERS CLUB Adruitha Lee and Robin Mathews

adallasbuyers — My mom will be really upset that I didn’t pick The Lone Ranger, but Johnny Depp kinda looks like that all the time. JACKASS PRESENTS : BAD GRANDPA Stephen Prouty THE LONE RANGER Joel Harlow and Gloria Pasqua-Casny

ACHIEVEMENT IN Music WRITTEN FOR MOTION PICTURES (Original Score)

THE BOOK THIEF John Williams

GRAVITY Steven Price

agravityscore — I’ve been in a long-term relationship with scores for like 20 years. Movies just wouldn’t be the same without them. There are three others in this category that I am intimately familiar with. Steven Price is not someone whose work I don’t know well. I feel like he did strong work for Gravity. HER William Butler and Owen Pallett PHILOMENA Alexandre Desplat SAVING MR. BANKS Thomas Newman

ACHIEVEMENT IN Music WRITTEN FOR MOTION PICTURES (Original Song)

Alone Yet Not Alone ALONE YET NOT ALONE Music by Bruce Broughton Lyric by Dennis Spiegel Happy DESPICABLE ME 2 Music and Lyric by Pharrell Williams Let It Go FROZEN Music and Lyric by Kristen Anderson-Lopez and Robert Lopez

The Moon Song HER Music by Karen O Lyric by Karen O and Spike Jonze

aher — This is the only song out of these that I’ve heard and I like it a lot. Bam. Ordinary Love MANDELA: LONG WALK TO FREEDOM Music by Paul Hewson, Dave Evans, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen Lyric by Paul Hewson

ACHIEVEMENT IN Production Design

AMERICAN HUSTLE Production Design: Judy Becker Set Decoration: Heather Loeffler

aamerican — I didn’t pick Gravity! Jennifer Lawrence is psyched. GRAVITY Production Design: Andy Nicholson Set Decoration: Rosie Goodwin and Joanne Woollard THE GREAT GATSBY Production Design: Catherine Martin Set Decoration: Beverley Dunn HER Production Design: K.K. Barrett Set Decoration: Gene Serdena 12 YEARS A SLAVE Production Design: Adam Stockhausen Set Decoration: Alice Baker

BEST ANIMATED Short Film

FERAL Daniel Sousa and Dan Golden

aferal — I never seen any of these. This one sounds interesting. GET A HORSE! Lauren MacMullan and Dorothy McKim MR. HUBLOT Laurent Witz and Alexandre Espigares POSSESSIONS Shuhei Morita ROOM ON THE BROOM Max Lang and Jan Lachauer

BEST Live Action Short Film

AQUEL NO ERA YO (THAT WASN’T ME) Esteban Crespo AVANT QUE DE TOUT PERDRE (JUST BEFORE LOSING EVERYTHING) Xavier Legrand and Alexandre Gavras HELIUM Anders Walter and Kim Magnusson

PITÄÄKÖ MUN KAIKKI HOITAA? (DO I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING?) Selma Vilhunen and Kirsikka Saari

adoi — No idea, but I can totally relate. THE VOORM AN PROBLEM Mark Gill and Baldwin Li

ACHIEVEMENT IN SOUND EDITING

ALL IS LOST Steve Boeddeker and Richard Hymns CAPTAIN PHILLIPS Oliver Tarney

GRAVITY Glenn Freemantle

agravity4 — Probably. THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG Brent Burge LONE SURVIVOR Wylie Stateman

ACHIEVEMENT IN SOUND MIXING

CAPTAIN PHILLIPS Chris Burdon, Mark Taylor, Mike Prestwood Smith and Chris Munro

GRAVITY Skip Lievsay, Niv Adiri, Christopher Benstead and Chris Munro

agravity5 — Maybe they should call it The Gravity Awards this year. THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG Christopher Boyes, Michael Hedges, Michael Semanick and Tony Johnson INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS Skip Lievsay, Greg Orloff and Peter F. Kurland LONE SURVIVOR Andy Koyama, Beau Borders and David Brownlow

ACHIEVEMENT IN VISUAL EFFECTS

GRAVITY Tim Webber, Chris Lawrence, Dave Shirk and Neil Corbould THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG Joe Letteri, Eric Saindon, David Clayton and Eric Reynolds IRON MAN 3 Christopher Townsend, Guy Williams, Erik Nash and Dan Sudick THE LONE RANGER Tim Alexander, Gary Brozenich, Edson Williams and John Frazier

STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS Roger Guyett, Patrick Tubach, Ben Grossmann and Burt Dalton

astartrek — I own this and I still haven’t seen it. Gravity will probably win this too, but I feel this is becoming redundant.

Adapted Screenplay

BEFORE MIDNIGHT Written by Richard Linklater, Julie Delpy, Ethan Hawke CAPTAIN PHILLIPS Screenplay by Billy Ray PHILOMENA Screenplay by Steve Coogan and Jeff Pope 12 YEARS A SLAVE Screenplay by John Ridley

THE WOLF OF WALL STREET Screenplay by Terence Winter

awolfofwallstreet1 — Guys, I’m just closing my eyes and pointing.

Original Screenplay

AMERICAN HUSTLE Written by Eric Warren Singer and David O. Russell BLUE JASMINE Written by Woody Allen DALLAS BUYERS CLUB Written by Craig Borten & Melisa Wallack

HER Written by Spike Jonze

aher1 — I think this is a brilliant concept. And it’s not that far-fetched. NEBRASKA Written by Bob Nelson

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