New To Netflix

JULY

Oh, hi! Remember how I was supposed to do this? And that it was all my idea? And that my heart is bigger than my brain? And that my ambitions are often stomped on by adult life?

Well, July was a very busy month picking up new projects and finding/moving into a new place by August 1st. It’s incredibly time-consuming and being the second time inside of a year that I had to do it, it was just a little soul crushing.

That’s the bad news. The good news is, I’m here to make good. My genre for the month was Musicals. In July, three were added to Netflix. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Hello, Dolly!, and … ahem… Stomp the Yard 2: Stomp Harder.

Of those, I’ve seen one: Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. It stars the irreplaceable Marilyn Monroe and the Original Bombshell Jane Russell. Together, the two will rich men to do their bidding using their bountiful feminine wiles.

Marilyn Monroe’s character in this movie is me, halfway through a box of wine.

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She’s always doing something wacky and incredibly — for lack of a better term — blonde. It would appear that due to blissful ignorance, she not only has more fun, but gentlemen do tend to prefer her over her brunette counterpart.

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Nobody cares, Jane.

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Onto Hello, Dolly!

Guys, this is not a biopic about Dolly Parton. I’m telling you that not under the assumption that you thought it might be, but because I thought it was. It makes a modicum of sense if you let your imagination run wild and free. For the rest of you, please send any and all hate mail straight to Lake Michigan.

I didn’t know! Sue me.

It stars Barbra Streisand and Walter Matthau. Streisand plays Dolly.

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She’s a matchmaker with her own secret romantic agenda.

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More importantly, it was directed by that dreamboat Gene Kelly.

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Yeah. You. Call me.

Lastly, we’ve got Stomp the Yard 2: Homecoming. I confused this movie with Step Up and thought that I might be in for a sequel to the movie that made Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan Tatum fall in love.

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And he did catch her. Forever.

I can’t tell you how disappointed I was when I figured out what it actually was. It was like being at a Bulls game. There’s so much going on at all times; the Luvabulls are dancing on half the court, the Bulls are actually playing basketball around them, Benny’s dumping some guy’s popcorn in his lap, and the Bull-limp is floating dangerously close to the rafters.

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This movie is just raw, aggressive stimulus and people who are far more coordinated than I could ever dream to be.

Anyway, I’m gonna take a pass on August because I’m really busy watching Stranger Things in my free time.

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And that .gif is me after holing up to binge the show in peace and damn quiet.

Welp, this has been another edition of Katie Half-Asses Her Own Project. If you enjoy this, I can give you my email address and you can send me money so that I may continue to sit on my duff and only kinda try.

JUNE

Hey guys! Here we are just days before July begins and I’m FINALLY getting around to doing this. But listen, I have to confess something. I’ve taken on too many writing projects this month and have overextended myself just an teeny bit.

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SO. That being said, my task for June was to watch all of the Sci-Fi movies added to Netflix. That included the first three Jurassic Park movies and something called The Giver starring Jeff Bridges and Meryl Streep.

Look, we’ve all seen Jurassic Park. We all know what happens. If you’ve been living under a rock or in some sort of bunker or, like, North Korea, here’s the gist:

 

Anything after that? Well…

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Basically, this is a GIANT COP-OUT. That’s all my bad. I got you next month for… oof… Musicals.

Nailed it!

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